My future..

I like to lay my head down on the pillow and start to think about my future… Start to think about everything I wish to reach in my life. My daddy always says to me a simple phrase but with an important message;    

“Who doesn’t know where wants to go never get anywhere”. 

Then I think that my dreams are the first step of my  success and “Dreams” is the word which best describes who I’m and who I want to be!

However I have to be realistic and be aware that even the biggest dreamer has all the probabilities to fail… There is another phrase that means a lot to me: “A goal without a plan is just a wish - Antoine de Saint-Exupery”. So if you really want to achieve something important in your life you need to know what it is, so when you know what you want and want so much to reach your goal, then you need a plan. After you already have the plan and it is possible, you just have to follow your path…

Sometimes when we give up in the middle of the path you just need to be sure about what it’s better for you because nothing is worth if you get what you need but not what you want.  Sacrifices are sometimes necessary to reach the goods, spending many years abroad away from my family and from friends is a such huge sacrifice to me but I know that all these experiences will make me a better professional and a better person. Making my own money for the first time to afford what I want, working on a luxurious cruise around many countries in Europe and knowing how to live with different opinions and cultures will turn my adaption in America so much easier though I already carry the experience that I've owned in Canada. However going to college in U.S is still something which really freaks me out  when I think about the adaption with the advanced level of English, roommates and the responsibility to keep my scholarship but inside of me I'm sure that I'm capable to get over it the problem is the restiveness... hahahahaha

I have to admit that I'm kind nervous about my life on board.. I've never worked in my life and  it is a single and crazy chance at the same time since I'll visit many countries every week and meeting a lot of interesting people although I'll have to work hard during the most part of the time and always concerned to provide the best possible service for passengers but never forgetting another positive aspect perhaps the most important ; the remuneration, salary, the payment!!! The main goal is to save money to afford my university studies in the United States however in many moments  of my trip I will be tempted to buy many interesting  stuff hehehehehe but I will have to hold tight and save the most of what I will earn! 

Anyway I'll live one thing at a time without fear of being happy because the good in life is to live and enjoy this giant world that is around us!  So that's it.. I 'll held my head high and be strong because everything's worth in the search for the success . :D

  

Towards the right direction?

People always say that we should follow our hearts but to be honest I've never taken it very seriously because that not always worked for me.. I wasn't expecting what happened to me this week, without even realizing it, after an unexpected situation, I followed what my heart told me to do. The last post was for me like a shot in the dark and I honestly didn’t believe it could help the way it helped…yeah for the first time I guess I was at least a little succeeded. However creating expectations is not the best thing to do because I usually get hurt when these things don’t happen the way I thought they would do. .. It’s funny how Taylor’s songs was are able to illustrate my moments perfectly and the music that I cant stop listening today is “If This was a movie”.. check this video out:

It is somewhat curious how Taylor's songs can  fit perfectly in my moments and even report facts accurately...

Life is kind of funny because on the moday post stated that probably I wouldn't post anymore this week for the lack of important things to say.. :\

So what am I going to do next I really dont know.. i'm fucking confused and insecure about what's going to happen now and at the same time afraid to keep waiting and making the same mistake  I've done before.. We spend most of our lives waiting for things to happen, and in the meantime, life happens so fast that while you're waiting, you miss out on the important things.  

I have no words to say what i want to say so listen to this part of the song:


"If you're out there, if you're somewhere, if you're moving on, I've been waiting for you ever since you've been gone, I just want it back the way it was before, And I just wanna see you back in my front door, And I say...
Come back, come back, come back to me like You would before you said "It's not that easy", Before the fight, before I let you out, But I take it all back now."
That's it.

Nostalgia..

I'll publish this post based on a person with a song...

Well...it's never easy to talk or even think about this..So many people have gone through my life and some of them were really, really special but even a big lover is not compared to you. You are the one that I most miss in my life and being so close and distant of you at the same time kills me always when I think about the story of us..

"Oh simple complication, miscommunications lead to fall out so many things that I wish you knew so many walls up I can't break through.." The year of 2010 was the year of "super" complication and miscommunications which made ​​so many wounds and weakened us in a way that we broke up without any explanation…"I don't know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now" ...When I had the chance to say what I needed to say to you I screwed it up..and the beautiful story of a true friendship turned into a tragedy...

Next chapter...  "You held your pride like you should've held me..Oh, I'm scared to see the ending, why are we pretending this is nothing?" Holding our pride as always .. this is inside of us and we know the proud doesn't make us any better ... Losing you forever is one of my most horrifying feelings and absentmindedly I prefer to pretend that someday all this mess is going to be okay.. Why are we pretending this is nothing?! 

"This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less but I liked it better when you were on my side.The battles in your hands now but I would lay my armor down if you said you'd rather love than fight".

 I loved you so much and never needed to tell you this because being by your side was just enough for me… Now is different. Not different because of the feelings but because of lack of your presence in my life. Why are we acting like this? This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less but I really liked my friend when you were on my side. I always was sure about what I wanted but never acted like the way it should be… Today I read something you said and I don’t know if I was misunderstood but I desperately thought that words could be referring about me and here I’m to say to you that the battle’s in your hands now because I already laid my armor down because I’d rather love than fight.

“I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us, how we met and the sparks flew instantly and people would say they're the lucky ones. I used to know my place was the spot next to you…Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat” I believe I wasn’t the only one who used to think one day we’d tell the story of us; how two friends together owned  the world of their dreams and how much they were the lucky ones…

“Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking and I'm dying to know is it killing you like its killing me”

It’s my chance to admit that even if I have all the best friends by my side what I had with you was something different than everything… Even standing in a crowded room I still miss a part of my heart, you... I wish you could forgive me and only you and me rebuild what was stolen of us... 

Soon I'll be leaving for a new life and after this happen our story could end trully forever...even with this tragical ending i'd like to ask you to never forget what meant for you because for me you're unforgettable,

I miss you.

The end.

Just let it flow...

Good Monday to all! After a restless weekend here I am on this boring Monday morning… Every time this day comes unfortunately the blue mood is included.  After a lot of fun, staying home abandoned and in a cloudy day looks like a heat shock...To complete the perfect day the hangover still haunts me.  

Finally I going to my dentist today at 5 pm, it's been a long time no going to visit her, what's very unusual for me because I have brackets (what a shame), I can’t wait to remove them! 

After the Saturday party I realized how much I am outdated about the Latest Top Tunes of this year... So I designed to myself a challenge that it is: "Find all the unknown songs which you listened at the party"! This is an awkward feeling because I felt as if I had been stuck on time and it doesn’t feel good so I don’t wanna look like a weird guy who isn’t catch up with the latest trends beyond what, I like to be linked with the world!

Today at the lunch time, sister invited a couple friends to have lunch with us and as she already knows, I like when she brings her friends to home and that made my day less borring because the routine is usually boring to me!

Now in the evening dad called me to ask me a favor, it was a translation of one phrase that he had received from his computer adviser but  he didn’t know what it meant so after I did the favor when he was sufficient meek  for  the sudden request  I took the chance to talk about the expensive course that I needed to do because of  the cruise job requirement and without any blah blah blah he accepted to defray it! He’ll call me on Wednesday and finally i'll take the last step to my new life...on board!

On the next few days I wont probably be writing on the blog because of the lack of interesting news to share.. maybe I can post something not related with my routine but with something I think is cool enough :} 

The party never ends..

Hey there.. This is an unprecedented fact, I write three consecutive days on my blog! Well, yesterday after the “Sushi time” with the guys at Philadelphia sushi bar we spent a good time at Sabrina’s home but an unpleasant fact made ​​the night imperfect. One of our friends didn’t have dinner with us because of her boyfriend. She wanted to go but the stupid boyfriend wanted to avoid us and forced ​​her to spend the night alone with him while we all had fun near to where they were but we did not know…I got home at 1 am and that’s to early than I usually arrive!  

In the morning I was woken by a phone call. Fernanda was inviting me to spend the day in the pool at Sabrina’s home. The day was very pleasant although the subject of our friend who left us last night didn’t go out of our minds ... after all she appeared and we talked about all that stuff and finally we understood better her situation…  Tonight I’m going to really celebrate Sabrina’s birthday at the club! Omg I waited so long for this night.. Music Box club is the power!!! :D 

In a feel hours i'll have to be ready to leave so i'm going to have some sleep before I go..

Happy time with my friends!

Yesterday was Sabrina’s birthday! Fernanda, Raíssy and me got together and decided to make a surprise to her! Since we finished the school, the true friendships have been strengthened as never before but for the various routines of us the meetings were more limited.  Then one week before the Carnival we come to the conclusion that this party would be great to be togehter again!

In Fortaleza has been raining a lot lately but even so we three went to buy the birthday cake of Sabrina, and we took the opportunity to have lunch at Costa Mendes. After the lunch we went to Sabrina's home which is located in the same condominium where Raissy lives.

 All ready, prepared cake and candles lighted! She was all messed up when of a sudden we arrived at the apartment , we began to jump,to scream and  to sing the traditional birthday song! It was a wonderful afternoon .. we catch up and laugh about the stories of the carnival!
Today in the morning I was supposed to go the Dentist at 9 am so I woke up at 7 and got ready to go but when I was leaving my dentist called me and told me that a machine had been broken so I had to stay at home and enjoy the pouring rain on my window pane.. (ohh that was so hard hehehe)

Plans for the weekend are already done: tonight we will go to a Japanese restaurant to enjoy one of our favorite cuisines. Tomorrow night we will go to a club dancing all night and getting drunk to celebrate Sabrina's 18's. Sunday is the day to sleep till the noon and to go to the movies in the evening!