The fear of loving...

Sometimes in our life we feel like there was no more anything to happen but, surprising or not, the destiny took charge to make things work out! Since my last post, almost anything has changed excepting the feeling of being too close to a door that I don’t know if I'm ready to open it up. Life had been shown so quiet and boring that I should've suspected that something extremely huge was about to blow out! I'll try to make you understand what I want to say without letting you know about all the private details... Some posts ago I mentioned this : "For a long time I could handle the fact of being single, lovingly forlorn…I like to remember that there was a very special time for me after I have found out about what I really wanted to me; there was a very special person who in the same way that came into my life, left me without any explanation, just left me a huge nostalgic feeling of someone who loved me the way I’m for first time in my life and made me feel the same thing, made me believe in my dreams but this unfair life took it from me forever… After this experience I have never found someone who could see in me the glow of love - April 1st, the loneliness"

Now comes the time for the improbable and unexpected news, the person who I thought that life had take away from me forever is back again and more alive than ever! The weirdest thing is that deeply in my heart I always knew the truth... I wonder if I'm stupid for being afraid to be happy, to be completed... Everything happened so fast and I still need to close my eyes and define the right place for each feelings of my heart... I dont want to hurt anyone, I dont want to hurt myself as well. The question that I need the answer is : Do I still feel the same feeling as I felt in the past?  The lingering question kept me up, 2am, who do I love? I wonder 'till I'm wide awake, now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door..

There I was again that night forcing laughter, faking smiles,same old tired, lonely place, walls of insincerity, shifiting eyes and vacancy vanished when I heard your voice, all I can say is it was enchanting to meet you again. Last night was sparkling, I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home, dancing around all alone. I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, last night was  flawless. This was me praying that this was the very first page, not where the storyline ends. My thoughts echoed your name until I see you again...These are the words I held back as you were leaving too soon "I was enchanted to meet you." Please don't be in love with someone else...please don't have somebody waiting on you...